I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
