Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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