Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
too bad you live with your parents still
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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