i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
