grandma shit on top of the toilet
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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