My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
