can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
