Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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