Cold hands, warm shart.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
