I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
