The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
