Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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