he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
