And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
