wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
