"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
