She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
do herpes really smell.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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