For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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