You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
