all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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