I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
