The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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