What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
