do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
