i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
