at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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