It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
