cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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