No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌ï¸
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
