come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
