are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
