we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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