dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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