How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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