Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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