Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
