Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Say something about gay babies.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
