Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
