that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
