just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
