HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
