Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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