So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
FUCK WHALES
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
