i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
