He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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