But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
