I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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