no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
