I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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