And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
