i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
