I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
