I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
