Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
