I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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