What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
