so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
