She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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