anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
