no, he came in my armpit
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
