Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize