Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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