i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
