Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
