Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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