Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Randomize
