You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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