Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
