i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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