I wannas sexs uuuuu
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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